The History Quiz
Stupid boys forget face strap. Mama didn’t raise no stupid boy. Strap pushes gas mask to my face and makes vision go blurry—better blind boy than dead boy. Better dead boy than stupid boy ‘cause stupid boys caused many dead boys. I’s not stupid boy ‘cause I go to school.
I get to school like yesterday. Teacher is half-man, half-bike, except wrinkly. He has mouth on neck connected to glowing backpack with thick tube. His wheezing makes short hair on my skinny neck stand up. He gets around on motor chair with wheels. Must be nice not to walk anywhere. His voice sounds like two rocks wrestling, weaker under gas mask. He has tiny metal flag stuck to his left boobie, and his jacket says United States Army on the back.
My tooth hurts again. Mama say pain makes strength. Better stay strong to not turn dead. School has no doors like my house, so sometimes wind breaks in. I am lucky to be in school because dead boys killed so I can go to school.
Other boys look ahead with no light in their eyes. The room was full last day. Now, some chairs sad and empty. Must be ‘cause of history quiz. I sit far away from Teacher because boy on lightbox told me to. I hear light footsteps in the hall. Big boy with clean gas mask and full set of clothes walks in.
“You’re late again, Dave,” says Teacher to big boy. “Do you know being late is bad?”
“My deepest apologies,” he answers without looking at Teacher.
“You’re just in time for the history quiz, Dave. Hope you studied,” groans Teacher, rubbing where his legs should be. “Stone, please pass out the quizzes on my desk.”
Stone is skinniest boy I ever seen. He wears no shirt and pants with no holes. He gets up and puts on fancy gloves. He no look at my eyes when he tosses me my paper with old-world words like “mutually assured destruction.”
“Focus, now,” Teacher wheezes like sick dog.
The quiz is three questions. Number one asks, “Define mutually assured destruction,” and it worth one mark. This one easy. I write, “Mutually assured destruction is why you do not mess with country that has nothing to lose.”
Number two is tough and worth two marks. It say, “Where would you go first in the old world and why?” There is too much to say, like McDonald's, Wal-Mart, and Disney Land. I say McDonald’s because it kept the people in old world strong, rich, and happy.
Number three is only worth one mark, and it ask, “Who destroyed the world?” I do not know the answer because I do not remember the other country names. The only one I remember is the one that gave me life to live. Teacher will not like me putting that one. Just as I give up and drop pen, Teacher says time is gone.
“We’re going to be marking our own papers today for public health reasons,” Teacher announces. “Be honest because none of this matters anyway. Can anyone tell me the definition of mutually assured destruction?”
I read out my answer, and the teacher goes, “Why not?”
Next question. Other boys want to visit Wal-Mart to see the big high-definition lightboxes. We all do well on the quiz so far, except Dave because he rips the quiz in two.
Sharp wind slices through classroom before Teacher asks who destroyed world. Stone says China destroyed world. Grinning Teacher says correct. I sneakily write China on my paper and give myself the mark because none of this matters anyway. Other boys moan around me, including Dave.
“THIS TEST IS UNFAIR!” Dave yells through his gas mask, like soldiers on lightbox. “THE WORLD WAS NEVER DESTROYED!”
I do like Dave’s voice and full set of clothes. Teacher looks so tired, more than usual. We been here before.
Teacher says, “Take your gas mask off, then.”
“THE PEOPLE WERE NEVER MEANT TO BREATHE THE AIR! ONLY GOD CAN! THERE WAS NO WAR!”
Dave looks like he gonna pass out and become worm food. Worms are what they call boys sometimes, and I hungry.
“If I were your father, you’d have turned out better,” Teacher whispers.
“Well, thank God you’re not. My father is the prophet and king of this town. Unless you change this quiz, he will ruin your worthless life!”
“There is nothing left for him to take from me,” Teacher responds, wheezing between words. “I’ve sacrificed everything for you. I’m not changing my great country’s history for your delusions.”
Dave bolts out of desk like bullet and walks up to Teacher. Dave looks like big man on lightbox, except without killer boomstick.
He turns to us and asks, “Are we going to let this relic determine our future?”
I don’t know what relic means, but I like the way his energy makes heart pound. Other boys get out of desks to join Dave.
One of them scream, “No way China destroyed world! It had to be those filthy Canadians!”
I change my answer to Canada, just in case. I’m the only boy at his desk. Teacher is surrounded by hungry boys united by Dave.
“I’m done fighting,” Teacher says. “Do what you want.”
Dave turns to me quick before ripping Teacher’s gas mask off his wrinkled face. His gasps for air make eyeballs jump out. Dave pulls tube out his neck. Teacher won’t stop wheezing. He not done fighting.
Dave yells, “THERE IS NO OLD WORLD!”
Everybody repeats it together under the ash-white sky and ripped-up flag. Teacher looks directly into my eyes before closing his for good.
Noticing my silence, Dave smiles and asks me, “Who destroyed the world?”
With boys’ hungry breath on the short hairs on my neck, I whisper like mouse, “We did.”